Agree to Disagree – Step 3

 You’ve already learned two great communication tips. Are you ready for the third one? WARNING: this might make you uncomfortable. Sorry. I told you already that good, efficient communication is hard work. And sometimes it involves taking a little risk and being vulnerable for a minute. Alright, here’s step three.

  1. Identify the actual issue.
  2. Ask for what you want.
  3. Tell them how it would make you feel. Imagine for a moment what life would be like if you had what you wanted. Stay there a minute. Ok, back to reality. What did you feel while you were there in You-finally-gave-me-what-I-needed-Land? No, you can’t “…feel like you actually cared about me.” That’s misuse of the word “feel”. Feelings are emotions. If you can’t emote it, it’s not a feeling. “I want you to support me in the things I care about, and if you did, I’d feel happy and supported.” Most of us get into relationships because we like the other person. This is the same person you fell in love with, who loves you back, and who wants good things for your relationship. They care about how you feel.

What do you think about sharing how you feel? Is it scary? awesome? scary awesome? Share some thoughts in the comments below. Ready for step four? Grow in your communication skills! Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking here.

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