Phew, that feelings sharing stuff is over! Now comes probably the hardest part. Especially after you just opened up your heart and shared real emotion!
- Identify the actual issue.
- Ask for what you want.
- Tell them how it would make you feel.
- Shut up. Don’t add anything else. Just leave it alone. The formula is this: “I want ______ and it would make me feel ________.” Short. Sweet. Simple. Some people like to think through what they’re going to say before they say it (weird, I know…), so have patience. You might be tempted to jump into the silence with helpful details. Don’t mess with the formula! Unless you want a longer, drawn out argument. Then, by all means, go ahead.
Do you notice this happening in your conversations? Are you one of those people who likes to think before speaking? I’d love to hear some thoughts from you. Leave a comment.
Done with shutting up? Go on to step 5. Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking here.