I’m glad you decided to let it go. How many times do you say, “What were we fighting about anyway? I don’t remember. I just remember you didn’t support me.” If you’re lucky, you’ll get the opportunity to carry out step 7. Here again, it’s about staying out of your own way.
- Identify the actual issue.
- Ask for what you want.
- Tell them how it would make you feel.
- Shut up.
- Let it go.
- Accept their apology and/or their attempt to make amends. Once they’ve understood what you want and communicated they are willing to work on the problem, joyfully accept the move forward. Now isn’t the time to be nitpicky. You’re so far along, why would you want to mess it all up by telling them their offer and apology isn’t good enough? If you need more or they offer something you don’t need, let them know. “I appreciate your assurance that you really care about my feelings. That means a lot to me. It would help me even more if you’d be willing to speak kindly to me and be on my team if it’s something you’re indifferent about. Will you do that?”
Don’t underestimate the power of a calm tone of voice, a request (vs. a demand), and relaxed body language. You may want to practice…
All practiced up? Then you’re ready for step 8 of how to communicate when you’re at a standstill. Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking here.