Agree to Disagree – Step 8

“What if I wasn’t so lucky, Jemma? What if my partner didn’t apologize or try to understand me back? Now what? What do I doooooo!!??” It could be that they didn’t really understand you. So do what Aaliyah (may she rest in peace…) suggests, dust yourself off and try again.

  1. Identify the actual issue.
  2. Ask for what you want. 
  3. Tell them how it would make you feel. 
  4. Shut up.
  5. Listen.
  6. Let it go.
  7. Accept their apology and/or their attempt to make amends.
  8. Wash.Rinse. Repeat. If their offer is unacceptable or their apology (if necessary) doesn’t contain personal responsibility for their actions, then it’s a different story. You might need to revisit the actual issue again “When you blow off my requests to load the toilet paper correctly, I feel disregarded.” Then describe what you’re looking for specifically and with practical action steps. “Since it doesn’t matter to you either way, and I know you care about me, I’d love it if you’d try to make a habit out of putting the roll in the way I like it.”

If that still doesn’t help, maybe step 9 will help you become a better communicator. And yes, I really did reference Aaliyah.

Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking here.

One comment

  1. […] practiced up? Then you’re ready for step 8 of how to communicate when you’re at a standstill. Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking […]

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