Agree to Disagree – Step 9

When you’ve tried three times to get the message across and you can’t come to a resolution (that’s right, I didn’t say make them agree with you), then it’s time to start asking questions. Find out what’s in the way and have a nice, calm, efficient discussion about it.

  1. Identify the actual issue.
  2. Ask for what you want. 
  3. Tell them how it would make you feel. 
  4. Shut up.
  5. Listen.
  6. Let it go.
  7. Accept their apology and/or their attempt to make amends.
  8. Wash.Rinse. Repeat.
  9. Ask if there is anything blocking progress. There might be something they’ve misunderstood. Maybe they need to know that you understand where they are coming from too. Listen. Are they repeating themselves? They probably don’t feel HUA (heard, understood, acknowledged). Be an active listener and reflect what they share with you.

Once you’ve gone through this, hop back up to step 7. Now you’re ready for step 10, so get on with your good communicating self.

Stumbled upon this in the middle? Get back to step one of these communication tips by clicking here.

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