Do you ever notice in your arguments with your partner that sometimes you are discussing the same thing over and over and it never seems to be solved? Other times, do you notice  it is new material and solvable problems? You’re not alone. In fact, research by Dr. John Gottman reveals that 69% of problems in relationships are perpetual problems. Wow, so two-thirds of our problems are never getting resolved?…

When I was a kid, I took Tae Kwon Do. At the test for my yellow belt, I was told I’d have to break a board with my bare hands by chopping it. I was scared and pretty convinced that I was only going to break my hand. Back then, my only knowledge of that feat was Bruce Lee blurrily chopping his way through several boards screaming at the top…

Last week we talked a little about an article on the power of touch and its ability to impact emotional intimacy and increase successful communication. Have you noticed that you’ve been particularly appreciative of this new habit of using touch to connect with others? Maybe physical touch is your love language. What’s that you say? Love languages? What’s a love language? Gary Chapman has written a book and developed a…

I recently read an article about the power of touch and the question struck me, how often do we take for granted that modality of communication? What is it about touch that makes it such a powerful and versatile language? And how can we utilize it to its utmost to get the most benefit? According to research, touch was considered a very accurate means of communicating emotion, something that in…

Are you ready for Valentine’s Day? How’s it going with your significant other? We’re finishing up a series on relationships to get you all fired up for the most romantic day of the year. We’re finishing off the series on a fun note, now that we’ve figured out you believe you can change things for the better and you’re paying attention! Now, pay attention to part three and get to…

Are you ready for Valentine’s Day? How’s it going with your significant other? We’re in the middle of a series on relationships to get you all fired up for the most romantic day of the year. We started off the series talking about whether you think it is even possible to change. If you’re still with me, then you’re ready for part two.   Don’t just be here. Be here…

Are you ready for Valentine’s Day? How’s it going with your significant other? We’re about to dive into a series on relationships to get you all fired up for the most romantic day of the year. We’re kicking off the series with a note on change and beliefs. So let’s get started.   There are two ways to think about change. Either you believe it’s possible or you don’t. What…

You did it! You worked your way through a practical and efficient method of communicating with your partner. How does it feel? Exhausting? It takes a lot of effort. It’s hard work. It’s definitely worth it. The more you practice communicating like this, the better you’ll get and the easier it will feel. Now for the final step. Identify the actual issue. Ask for what you want.  Tell them how…

When you’ve tried three times to get the message across and you can’t come to a resolution (that’s right, I didn’t say make them agree with you), then it’s time to start asking questions. Find out what’s in the way and have a nice, calm, efficient discussion about it. Identify the actual issue. Ask for what you want.  Tell them how it would make you feel.  Shut up. Listen. Let…

“What if I wasn’t so lucky, Jemma? What if my partner didn’t apologize or try to understand me back? Now what? What do I doooooo!!??” It could be that they didn’t really understand you. So do what Aaliyah (may she rest in peace…) suggests, dust yourself off and try again. Identify the actual issue. Ask for what you want.  Tell them how it would make you feel.  Shut up. Listen….